Little Thoughts

Sigh

2009-11-25T16:09:00.003+11:00

Hospitals

2009-11-17T16:27:00.001+11:00

Will be the death of me 2nd hospital visit this year
ergh i just had to sit there and wait out the pain cause whatever they gave me wasn't strong enough and i'm alergic to morphine...

Now i have some gear for my pain and have to have some bedrest :(

9pm till 5am hospital visits are death

Long time

2009-11-16T12:07:00.002+11:00

no thoughts...

HARDLUCK GET FUCKED...

I love you...

Long time no blog

2009-09-19T17:18:00.001+10:00

Living without internet meant no blog. But now my realtionship has failed and im living back at home lets see what pans out

meow

2009-03-27T17:57:00.001+11:00

my thumb is really sore from to much ds.
I cleaned the grossest bathroom in the world today
Tomorrow we have a house show.

It will have nothing on the 10th of april

Slowburn

Looking in

+ Special guests

Happy birthday tooo me

must be love

2009-03-02T19:11:00.004+11:00

There's no combination of words i could put on the back of a post card, no songs that i could sing but i could try for your heart cause our dreams they are made out of real things like a shoebox of photographs of sepia toned love

Moar photos

2009-02-06T16:24:00.004+11:00

This one is a bit old but i found it and i really loved it aww. Makes me miss people and places and visits.

TODAY

2009-02-02T00:50:00.004+11:00

I cried because something important to me stoped exisiting. I hate it. I also am very happy with my amazng boyfriend but still am super sad about this slash kinda took out on him oops. I also hung out with a group of amazing ladies it was okay, I Want you to be hapy and it hurts me that your world is falling apart and i cant be there to help. I just want you to know i love you dearly.

Ming

2009-01-28T15:54:00.005+11:00

wants me to post a blog so i am. It so fucking hot right now im ging to kill everyone.....

i need a job and an iceblock and possibly a pool.

PLZ K THANKS.

also need somewhere new to live in about 1 month anyone have any ideas let me know :)

Kewl photos for you and your mother...

Izzy in the bath kewl crew and cocktails! oh yeah sarah and i got new tattoos mosh etc

in no order

2009-01-15T04:14:00.005+11:00

heere are some photos of me living in melbourne yew.

meow

2009-01-09T13:32:00.000+11:00

a cat just attacked my hand

YAY LIFE

I need to go home and get clean clothes. Haven't stayed at home alll week. WOO BOYZ.

Getting Adjusted.

2009-01-05T18:01:00.001+11:00

io haven't had a minute to myself since i moved here last week. I love melbourne. And i love everyone here. UI get to see morgan and tom this week yay. Anyway.. I need to get the washing in and do a load before i go back to peppers to cook dinner and hang out. wooe.

TWO THOUSAND AND HATE.

2008-12-26T22:39:00.007+11:00

So another year is almost over.
A year of Boys, Babes, Booze, Boobs, Moves, Heartbreak, New Loves, New States, New Friends and Many Different Haircuts.
Here is a bit of a recap in photo for for those of you playing at home.

JANUARY.
Family xmas. New Years Fights. House Hold Break Down. Glebe House. Interstate Party. Extorion/Jungle Fever. Canberra Roadtrips with Samn and Liz. Canberra Rage in Sydney with Amy and Ema. Always Having A full house.

FEBUARY
Moving Back Home. SOundwave. Meeting Kenny <3 Starting line. Thankz Coco.

MARCH
E Tuning new boyz leads to things. Canberra Party times.

APRIL
HAPPY 18TH!!! AGAINST ME! CRIME IN STEREO FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKK Cut all my hair off.

MAY

idk. It was cold Double Hood. TDWP. Photo Game. LUCY Hangz <3

JUNE
- Not many photos taken in june :|
Four Years Strong. Lots of bmon hangz

JULY

HARDCOREEEEEEEE. COCO (L). Names on ballz. Cute indy fashion. Sister hangs. Lots of party.

AUGUST
Shaved and Red. First Melbourne Trip. Stealing Virginities in the 08.

SEPTEMBER
Ceremony Road Trip. Melbourne. F1 PARTY CREW. Sike. Happy birthday Izzy.

OCTOBER
More Melbourne.

NOVEMBER
I don't want to grow up/Everything Sucks. Short hair. Blonde again.

DECEMBER.
Hot Dresses. QLD boyz. Showers. XMAS. GORILLA BISCUITS. BRUISES.

this is how we do.

2008-12-25T23:26:00.001+11:00

Drink. Drug. Party. Sex. Vomit. Repeat.

Oh my.

2008-12-24T19:33:00.000+11:00

Its christmas tomorrow i hate christmas.
I miss Canberra and Tom and Sammy already and Briana and Morgie. I dunno how i will sleep without Tom and Sam and Bri in the bed tonight :(
Huge weekend so much love for everyone and so much shit drama. You would think some people would have more respect obvs not. Hm.
Melbourne in a few days fuck yeah.

Getting packed

2008-12-17T22:22:00.000+11:00

My room isn't my room anymore. Only 9 days till i move. WOW

SYDNEY FRIENDS DINNER PARTY SEX AND GLUE FRIDAY NIGHT
DINNER AT 7.30 AT GREEN PALACE

CANBERRA FRIENDS DINNER DANCING
AULAC 7.30 YES PLEASE

DO IT

I want to see so many people cause it will be the last time i see them for SOOOO Long :(

I will miss my sydney/canberra families

START TODAY

2008-12-16T10:15:00.002+11:00

So I got home at 9.30 this morning I got a cab the whole 3 mins from the train station to my house cause i'm feeling way too hungover to walk anywhere atm. Last night was one of the best nights of my life. 1st song in i lost a shoe so i just took the other one off and went the whole set without shoes. I sang start today from beginning to end giving people some share. I staged dived for the first time ever and yes it did make me feel more alive then coded messages in slowed down songs. I got kicked in the face ALOT. I got pushed and stepped on and battered but none of it mattered cause I got to enjoy gorilla biscuits. Civ said it best when he said "Dude did you see that i just got mugged by a bunch of girls without shoes on" Thank goodness Ashlee and Tanya were there to help me re-find my shoes ahaha. After the show i had the pure luck of getting to spend time with aurthur walter civ alex and the many other amazing people i had the pleasure of meeting. GB got me very drunk and gave me a free tshirt and renamed me - barefoot brooke. ALL IN ALL 10 outta 10 night. Now im going to pass out in a pool of vomit or something.

SITTING ROUND AT HOME

2008-12-15T13:26:00.001+11:00

for a few hours before i go see GORILLA BISCUITS!
FUCK I could not be more excited.

CLEAN

2008-12-13T02:20:00.001+11:00

Showering is the best feeling in the world. Washing away all the shit of the day.

un-scared

2008-12-11T22:41:00.000+11:00

Coming Soon To A Body Near You

2008-12-10T23:32:00.000+11:00

Greys Anatomy

2008-12-10T23:25:00.002+11:00

Is my new fav show. I have spent the last week in bed watching the first 3 seasons. Season 2 was the best imo. Can't wait to watch 4 & 5 Next week (6).
Canberra weekend was AMAZING. I love my Canberra babez. Shirts off parties/spooning/BBQ'S/Dancing/QLD Dramaz/Daves Tetris = Amazing weekends. I Miss Canberra ALOT! Sometimes i wonder why I'm not moving back there. Only 18 days till I move to Melbourne. CAN NOT FUCKING WAIT.

Um. Yeah. I'm lost for words at them moment.
SIGH

Sleepless Nights,

2008-12-02T02:51:00.002+11:00

Once again I find myself in the same situation of 3am and not being able to sleep. To many thoughts inside me just waiting for the moment for my head to hit the pillow and complete silence to all jump out at once.I want to be free. Tomorrow I have to get up at 11am and do some things before i meet bmon in the city head to oxford for some shopping and then head to bondi for a house show/bmon to drink/me to pay for things. I get to see my dear qld friends that i miss lots and baby bmon who is not so much a baby anymore. Can not believe he is 18 now (and i missed his birthday :( BAD FRIEND ALERT)Also get to see aj and stuff and catch up with people i have not seen in a while. The joys of being a depressed bum = when i get to actually see people is exciting.

No more yellow hair

2008-11-28T22:15:00.002+11:00

Hi Grey/white/silver hair.

it looks different irl shitty webcam suckas

OM NOM NOM

2008-11-27T20:58:00.002+11:00

Why is it that i cook the best food when i'm only cooking for myself and everyone else refuses to eat it cause it has lentils in it :(

Anywayz.

Olive oil + Garlic + 1 small brown onion in a pan fry
add mushrooms continue to fry 1 can of lentils and 1 can of diced tomatos of your choosing stir that shit up let it cook for 15 mins serve with broken angel hair pasta and you are eating NOM NOM NOM

I'm so full now i thinki might throw up :(

Post Pictures That Represent Your Life Right Now.

2008-11-26T17:47:00.002+11:00

I was happy in the haze of a drunken hour, but heaven knows I'm miserable now.

2008-11-25T21:22:00.003+11:00

I have been sober for a month now. I'm starting to remember why i drank so much to begin with.

Giving up on you.

2008-11-25T01:00:00.003+11:00

For good this time. I don't know why I have wasted months on you. Just fuck off now. I couldn't stand to see you anymore. I am not one to give up on people ever i still have faith in the first friend i ever lost, the first boy that broke my heart, But you are a one a whole new level! You are worse then the last one. I was stupid to think you could ever be something more then another clone of everyone that passed by me in life. I hate you with everything i have and love you with everything I am at the same time. When you have finally realised everything you have given up, it will be too late. I wont be standing here with open arms waiting like in the past. Its well and truley done.

I bet when I see you again i will forget everythign i just said and will lose my head again. I hate you for making me lose my mind and I hate you for making me feel worthless like I will never be good enough.

Good enough to fuck, but never good enough to love.

2008-11-21T21:38:00.004+11:00

All your friends seem like enemies, When you're broken down and empty.

SO SAY GOODBYE TO LOVEEEEEEE

I suck. I did something I said I wouldn't do anymore. Oh Wellz.

No Apologies Last EVER show Tomorrow :( Very Very Sad. They have been one of the bands i have seen the most over the past few years. Have had a HUGE impact on my teenage years. Will be sorely missed.

Miles Away are playing as well!!! Fuck Very Very Excited. Last time i saw them i spent most of there set talking to Mj in the bathrooms about Getting Fighted. Oh well. I will lose my shit and have a good time hopefully. Miles Away are always so much fun to see and one of my favourite bands.

Lots of Melbourne kids coming down and a few others. Will get to catch up with people I haven't seen in a while and some i have seen recently. I love being able to see interstate people in my hometown instead of traveling to Melbourne/Canberra/Wherever. Last week I had Cornwell, Rhys and Keiran down from Melb. staying with me for Ruiner. It was nice to have the company. I'm such a lonely guy haha. Last night I went out for dinner with Alessandro. Got some Green Palace and went for a walk showed him how to get from Newtown to the manning bar. And just sat in the park and had a chat. The cutest possum came and chilled with us for a bit just sussin stuff out >.< Then we went back to his mummas watched letterman and went to bed ;)

I Really miss Sammy + Ameh + Morgie + Lou and Ema and all my Canberra babes. I forget how much i miss them till i spend time with them and then go home. Canberra has the most amazing people in all of Australia BY FAR!

I'm going to have an early night jump into bed and watch seinfeld.

Useless Generation.

2008-11-19T22:36:00.003+11:00

I NEED A LIFE

New Friends

2008-11-18T20:06:00.002+11:00

You get the general idea.

RUINER

2008-11-16T22:59:00.001+11:00

ARE AMAZING
FUCK
I HAVE NEVER LOST MY SHIT LIKE THAT BEFORE
BEST SHOWS SRSLY
ARRGH I WANT IT TO HAPPEN ALL OVER AGAIN

More cute boys

2008-11-12T00:30:00.000+11:00

ily

2008-11-10T17:57:00.001+11:00

Just a thought

2008-11-09T23:38:00.002+11:00

Next time you call me pretending to be someone else choose someone that i do not talk to regularly. I am quite good at phone voice recognition.

New Hair...

2008-11-08T14:47:00.001+11:00

OBAMARAMA

2008-11-07T04:29:00.001+11:00

Thank goodness.

+I'm not with child.
+ I'm getting a cute haircut tomorrow
+less then a week till ruiner.
+ I have finished a few xmas gifts.
+ 10 days till i get tattooed

- Its 4.30am and i can't sleep.

Obsession...

2008-11-05T14:13:00.001+11:00

Tales From Earthsea

2008-11-04T23:09:00.000+11:00

WATCH IT!!!!!!!1

2008-11-02T22:55:00.002+11:00

I hate the feeling of thinking that my life will never be what i want. I want so much. I want success and I want happiness. But I doubt that I will ever truly have either. I hate the person I have become. I want to be anyone but me. Please someone save me from myself...

Playing on Repeat in My Mind

2008-10-31T12:34:00.002+11:00

I remember just how it used to be when the nights were fucking ours and the sunrise made me feel so sick.
Things were much simpler and those summers last too long, but that feeling was as depressing as the day my eyes met yours.
We always talk about getting caught up in the moment.
Getting wrapped up in situations saying words we can never take back.
A four letter word, the most beautiful of things but the one i used on you is the one i wish i truly could mean.
I never said a thing I only half meant I dropped hints at being the worst man in the reflection, the one, I truly hate the most
I want my life
back days spent...
months spent...
years spent...
saying...
if
i
had
a
time machine...
HELL YEAH

FUCK I can not wait for ruiner!

Lack Of Sleep

2008-10-30T23:10:00.001+11:00

I have not been able to sleep properly since I got home. It sucks not having someone else in bed with me to cuddle me to sleep so I can hear their heart beating and hear them breathing the comfort of having someone next to you is second to none. Sigh. I just can not wait to move. 2 months will not pass soon enough...

HOT STUFF

2008-10-28T17:01:00.003+11:00

I seem

2008-10-22T11:40:00.003+11:00

to post less when I'm interstate..
Sitting in Alex's bed listening to AN. Should have a shower now. Going to meet him at work in an hour. I have to go home soon. But I really don't want to. Sigh tough days. This trip has basically just been lots of one thing, little of anything else. Saw Carpathian and Shipwreck the other day was pretty kewl. Shipwreck are pretty tough and New Carpathian is pretty good. I dunno. I got drunk and spewed in a car. Hung out with some amazing Ladies and Guyz. I have the feeling of missing everyone already even though I haven't left yet. Sigh sigh sigh. I went on a rollercoaster and to the beach. Had a few sleepovers. Made friends with people i previously was not great friends with which is always great. Realised that some people I thought were super shit are actually pretty amazing. Got stopped in the streets for my amazing model qualities hahah and um i dunno. I have a million photos to upload when i finally get home. Till then here is a couple to tied you over.

EXTENDED PERIODS

2008-10-16T11:01:00.002+11:00

I'm staying here for another 5 days or so. I just don't want to leave EVER. I hate saying goodbye to the people that matter most so I'm just putting it off. I have 50millon photos to up when i get home. And I will prob sulk for a few days aha.
Coco finishes work in an hour then we are going to Melbourne to see Jesse and go eat/hang/party hard in the '08 etc etc... meow meow meow.
Lurkers if you wanna play this weekend msg me and I will be happy to. :D
Last night I typed so much I Thought my hands were going to fall off, but at least now coco's how's your edge is updated and Shit. WOO
I'm going to eat food.
x

Change of plans

2008-10-08T01:08:00.002+11:00

not going to qld anymore
will prob go to melb stay with wil for a few nights craft day rort shows then head to b'rat do the house wife thing for a few days and come home...
don't want to ever come home.
fuck this shit place.
fuck having to change plans.
Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck

I just want a no strings attached boy that i can do all the cute stuff with that will hold my hand go home a fug and doesn't want a relationship. I thought that a relationship would fix all the bad shit in my life but I have come to realise that as much as i think it will its not going to happen. A cute boy wont make my life sooo much better. Getting my head straight will. So now on the quest for the pd and a stress free sex life full of sexy lingerie and heels and hot stuff...

Off on another adventure

2008-10-07T11:53:00.002+11:00

This time to the sunshine state.
Roadtripping with lizzy and nina
staying with samsal
hanging with camo
i could not be more siked

see you next week inter

GB TOUR!!!!!!!!1

2008-10-06T15:39:00.000+11:00

HOLY SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
OH MY

I'm exploading

but really

2008-10-04T01:14:00.001+10:00

my head hurts and i'm dizzy would spew

Once Pure

2008-10-04T01:12:00.001+10:00

Vivida Vis!

I'm Melting

2008-10-03T12:52:00.000+10:00

its 36 degrees fuck fuck fuck

Another day of doing nothing.

2008-10-02T17:13:00.002+10:00

I'm going to get off the net now at 5pm and not use it again for the rest of the night. I have a crate full of books in my room i need to read and I just picked up 2 more off my reading list and my sister picked up one so i will read that after her... I need to read more internet less and build some real solid friendships i'm sick of having to be on the internet to sustain relation ships. I'm hungry and there is nothing to eat. I'm pretty sure my dad just went through my photos on my computer which is not good at all cause there is some incriminating evidence in there... I leave the house for 5 mins and someone goes through my things fucking hell. Nothing is private. Nothing is sacred.

I REALLY WANT

2008-10-01T17:08:00.002+10:00

A CHANGE OF PACE
A FUCKING CIG
A COLD DRINK
A NEW LOVE
A NEW LIFE
A NEW ME

I'm going

2008-09-30T21:22:00.000+10:00

to try and quit smoking after the 2 i have left.
I have no money to buy any this week anyway so fingers crossed I can hold myself to it

Repost from Lj Ceremony Roadtrip Weekend

2008-09-30T12:22:00.002+10:00

I WILL FIX THE SPELLING/PHOTOS AFTER I WATCH TOYSTORY YEAH

So on Thursday Liz and I made a last minute decision to go on a sweet roadtrip and see Ceremony in Canberra. So naturally i called my girl Maddie-Jean and asked her if she was down for party times which of course being the drunken whore she now is she was! After an epic phone convo of pastels and the going on's of the previous weekend we decided on Maddie getting to mine at 2 and the party times starting there.
Friday morning i got up early to run some erands before the trip started bought some sexy lingerie a new dress and cigs clearly all you need for a party trip. Baked some choc walnut slice for the boys and grabbed my 2 bottles of wine and we all headded off. Maddie thought she was being amazing and bringing everyone the gift of sour worms little did she realise they were Full of BEEF GELATIN NOT VEGAN MADDIE!!!! After trying to force them down our throats and a petty stop. (Lizzy's car only cost 50 to fill up what a devil) We were finally on our way to The Nations Capital...

The Car Trip was great fun we sang and danced. Liz and I were trying to build a sun shield out of an old shirt of mine which left Maddie to "TAKE THE WHEEL MADDIE". Maddie and I did the usual chats of who is a babe, who has a good dick, who we want to fugg and talked about the search for the ever illusive pd. About half way we decided to stop at maccas for a pit stop and so maddie could get an icream/we could get some chips

Back in the car and on the home stretch Liz needed to pee and Maddie wanted to take a photo with lake george/as a cat so after another 50 photos of maddie on my camera we finally arived in canberra.

The Show was at Tuggeranong Youth Center a venue i had never been to before so i had no idea where we were going. We dropped by Ema's and made her direct us too the venue. We then met up with the always lovely Losing Streak + Drooby and NeenBomb. And the highlight of the weekend the Qld boys. 11 or so of them came down from the gold coast which was a fair dedicated effort in my opinion. Samsal, Jake Germ, Tomass, Ben, Kyle the 15yr old rager and Jono were the def highlights of the group. Coldfront played first i watched them for a little bit and then went and drank some wine, next up was losing streak always fun always angry always hot as shit,After Losing Streak Maddie Bmon and I Got in touch with mother nature. Maddie First time My first time to see Bmon smoke and Maddie Basically eating the filter off ahha. Then Slowburn which was my first time seeing them with Sammy singing. The set brought me to tears so much passion and emotions and it also made me worry about my dear friend Sam who i just want to protect from the world (hi Brooke you are a mum). Next Up was ceremony as soon as they started playing the whole room went off. Well mainly qld kids a few canberrans and me and Leah on the side of the room losing our minds.. The set was amazing. One of the best shows i have ever seen. No Stage a bunch of friends losing their shit together. I got moshed into a wall and hit my head hurts so much still haha. There are def photos floating around of me moshing. How embarrassment...

After the show we fucked around for a bit i got changed and we headed to bar 32 Morgans Place of work and the only party place in canberra worth going too. Tom the lovely boy let Maddie and I in for free <3 As soon as we went in Morgan pulled us over to the bar and Gave us some of the strongest vodkas Maddie has ever had. That bitch is not used to drinking yet! hahah. Some photog's wanted to take photos of Maddie and i due to our stunning good looks and sex appeal. www.outincanberra.com yeah boiii. Everyone arrived at different times in the night by this stage i was wasted as fuck after Louise and I drank a few bottles of wine between us. And Morgans Excellent Bar Skills. Eventually Losingstreak/Sam/Ceremony/The Tooth arrived and we all got down on the dance floor. Which my shoes were sticking too and kept coming off :( I danced like an absolute idiot but that's fine. I rambled about drunken shit outside with Callum (sorry dear) and generally had a fun night. Sam and I escaped the party times for a while cause i wanted to sit under a tree. & I got a hole in my brand new stocking. I cried in the gutter for a bit about how much i love Sammy and worry about him. Kate was a gem and hugged me. It was her birthday so she was out in full force! What an amazing woman. Morgan Didn't finish work till like 4.30ish so Maddie and i raged on until then and by that we mean fell asleep on the couch/in my case Murph ahha oops.

As soon as we got home to Morgans i wanted to eat so i did and then we all crashed. after about 3 hours sleep we had to get up and leave again to go back to Sydney for the 2 Sydney shows.First I ate a banana and We Played with splinter Morgans Ratty! The drive home was way tooo long it took us close to 6 hours to drive a trip that should have taken us 3. We Stopped at civic center to say bye to Sam and buy socks. Stopped at maccas to get a bite to eat/drinks It took like an hour. Jake was coming home with us and made me trade him my rightful front seat position. Never again! Kept on driving and took a "shortcut" to avoid the toll and added an extra hour to our trip at this time we were hitting E and everyone was freaking out. We finally hit a servo somewhere in the shire and Liz somehow managed to tangle her speakers in the steering wheel/ After a group effort of me and Jake fixing it Liz finally reemerged from the station to inform us she got locked in the toilets and some woman found her and let her out. ahha oh Liz. Then Maddie started stressing about being late for work and took us on another "shortcut" to her house which we all are convinced was like 5 times longer then the usual way ahha.

We got Jeanie home for work Jake and I headed to Newtown to meet up with Nina & Sam and the rest of the boys.We unfortunately missed the aa show which Jake and I were both pretty off it about but we had a few hours to kill before the O18's So we ate pie strolled back and forth from the venue to Newtown I bought a new handbag and a jumper cause mine broke and i was cold. I bought sam some twisties and a drink cause he was hungry and Nina Ben and I drank beers ans sat on some grass Snowy also joined us on the grass he is Nina and my favorite! It was a long 3 hours....The boys decided they hated losing streak and were going to pee on the demo haha.

The Over 18's show was good. Had nothing on Canberra. Ceremony blew me away again. I got punched in the neck and am covered in bruises but thats okay. White Male Dumbinance where amazing. Homewrecker Were awesome suicide file cover was excellent and I did not watch Ill brigade cause I was drinking beers. After the show Nina and I said goodbye to the boys who we wish would have stayed forever.Srsly some of the most amazing guys live on the goldcoast. It was soo sad to see them go home Wish i could have gone with them! Nina and I walked back to her house got some fallafle on the way and proceeded to bed where we had some chats and went to sleep.

In the moring some dick with a chainsaw woke us up at 8am so nina had a shower we stayed in bed for a while then she cooked an amazing meal and we watched sex and the city till it was time for me to go home.

I had one of the best weekends in a long time and this was an epic post but i just want to be able to read and remind myself of the amazingness..

I Miss Him

2008-09-26T00:03:00.002+10:00

My best friend.
My secret keep.
He calms me down
he makes me happy
He is absolutely prefect
and i miss him more than anything atm
all i want is a huge hug from him
and a kiss and to know that everything is okay

I FEEL HOPELESS

2008-09-24T21:59:00.003+10:00

WHEN I JUST WISH I COULD FEEL A LITTLE LESS

Home

2008-09-23T20:15:00.003+10:00

So I'm home from 5 days in Melbourne. Was a weird trip some good some bad not going to go into it for the sake of people involved and the fact i don't want to talk about anything to do with the whole situation kewl.
But Yeah I was pretty sick.Didn't Really go to sike at all apart for miles away, which yeah is a given will be sad to see them break up.(If the rumors are true but they have had a good run so good on them.) Didn't go to bang cause i was sick :(. Didn't go on a date cause i was sick basically just moped and hung out and was sick and stayed in bed a lot. Tanya ended up being on the same flight home as me which was kewl always good to see a familiar face :) I miss my Melbourne friends already :( I prob wont be able to head back down there for a fair while so hopefully they come visit me soon (nudge nudge hint hint guyz) I left my new shoes at coco's :( and I miss him dearly. He takes such great care of me :) I will do a photo post later when i resize photos ( I got a new camera :)) There are not many but i also have a disposable to drop in tomorrow for developing wee. + I don't hate cornwell anymore he is okay ( For you lurker that was informing me of how much i hate Alex in my blog ) haha I have used a lot of brackets in this post kewl P.s POST SECRET (as always)

ouchies

2008-09-17T20:17:00.004+10:00

I have a sore back/neck/wrestling injury
Almost finished packing for melbz got all my flights sorted and everything :)
Jsut gotta Pack a few more things and the stuff i will use tomorrow

wooo wooo wooo

I am also going on a cute date woo hoo
Siked for nice boys and not shit ones that suck yeah. I'm talking about you!

But anyway I have my outfit for sike day one planed and bang afterwards

Day1: Leotard Jeans new hat and sunnies

Bang: This dress (party dress) black bike shorts and silver shoes you are dancing the night away/drinking up a storm amirite

:)

2008-09-16T14:00:00.002+10:00

Nina is on her way home now and it was amazing having her here for 2 nights. I have missed her soo much its great when you haven't hung out without someone in so long and then when you do its like nothing at all has changed. Yesterday we went op-shoping and i bought alot of stuff new glasses and a new hat a necklace some earings 5 new dresses 2 pairs of shorts a leotard and 3 pairs of shoes for less then 70 bucks. Amazing. I have started to noticed that I am attracting a much younger breed of male these days. Weird because i was always the one to chase after the older guys. hmm. Melbourne in 2 days! YAY! get to see all my lovely friends and Morgan and Amy :) YESS + Going to spend a few days in ballarat with coco and figure out our situation and our friendship hopefully it will all be smooth sailing. I'm excited to see Brae Izzy and Ming :)

Spring Fling

2008-09-13T18:11:00.001+10:00

Today the weather was sooo beautiful so naturally i wanted to take a million photographs and eat ice blocks and hang out with the family we are having a bbq tonight :)The lovely weather is starting to cheer me up.
Plus i really love getting late night phone calls XD
more people should call me!
not on private though will not answer.

What do we want?

2008-09-11T16:37:00.000+10:00

Apparently The World Is Ending

2008-09-10T21:50:00.003+10:00

So list of things to do before I die...

Start a band and do a gorilla biscuits cover just so i can see pepper mosh.
Have a Lesbo Fling with Sj or someone that looks enough like her for it not to matter.
Become a foster parent.
Go Overseas to Greece or the US.
Roll down the hill at parliment house
Learn how to cartwheel
Finish painting my wardrobe/bookshelf/chest of draws so they coordinate.
Kiss in the middle of the street during a sunshower/thunderstorm
Finish all the stuff i have started doing in the craftbox in my room.
Call every person that used to be a huge part of my life that i don't talk to anymore and catchup with them.
Have someone fall in love with me Smile
Change someones life
Save someones life
Throw a cocktail party
Learn Ballroom dancing.
See Miles Away Play HQ
Make my own mock meat.
Buy a straw hat
Go for a date on the beach and have a beautiful picnic dinner and walk on the beach holding hands.
See Bloc Party Shook Ones and All (closest i will come to descendents)
Get Tattooed

Take A Risk

2008-09-10T00:40:00.000+10:00

To laugh is to risk appearing the fool.
To weep is to risk appearing sentimental.
To reach out to others is to risk involvement.
To expose feelings is to risk exposing your true self.
To place your ideas, your dreams before a crowd is to risk their loss.
To love is to risk not being loved in return.
To live is to risk dying.
To hope is to risk despair.
To try is to risk failure.

But risks must be taken,
because the greatest hazard in life is to do nothing.

The person who risks nothing,
does nothing, has nothing, and is nothing.

They may avoid suffering and sorrow,
but they cannot learn, feel, change, grow, love, live.

Chained by their attitudes, they are a slave,
they forfeited their freedom.

Only the person who risks can be free

Spring Has Sprung

2008-09-09T18:59:00.007+10:00

New Dresses New Hair New Life

Spring Flowers
Sunburn
Chaped Lips
Bright Colours
Floaty Dresses
Straw Hats
Thongs
Scarves
Floral Patterns
Pastles
BBQ's
Late Nights
Beers
PreMix Vodka
Ice Blocks
Beach
Sun Sand Surf
I Can't Wait

<

All that matters

2008-09-08T21:45:00.000+10:00

Colorgenics -

2008-09-08T13:54:00.000+10:00

At this particular time, you are feeling that you are or were unjustly and undeservedly treated and/or betrayed in your hopes and dreams. You feel that everything is against you. But look on the bright side for you are, whether you believe it or not, a survivor.

You are very orderly, methodical and self sufficient. You demand and need the respect, recognition and understanding of all those who enter into your sphere on influence.

It is hard for you to accept that your needs and desires are misunderstood by almost everyone within your sphere of influence and there is no one to rely on. Your pent-up emotions and inherent egocentricity make you quick to take offence, but as matters stand you realise that you'll have to make the best of things as they are.

You pretend that you are a carefree individual and that nothing really bothers you - that you are so self-sufficient that whatever problems beset you they simply flow off you as water flows off a ducks back. You are experiencing considerable stress, trying to conceal yourself from the rest of the world. In actual fact - deep down, you are not at all happy. You feel lonely and you need someone with whom you can 'Let your hair down' and share your hopes, dreams and high standards. You are imposing unnecessary self restraint on yourself. You would like to demonstrate the unique quality of your character to all and sundry.

You are moody and depressed at this time but it will pass. All of your hopes and dreams seem to have gone astray and you are fearful of planning further for the future. Disappointment at the non fulfilment of your hopes and the fear that to formulate fresh goals will only lead to further setbacks have resulted in considerable anxiety and you try to escape from this by withdrawing into yourself. But that is not the answer. You have the power to succeed, believe in yourself... all is possible to him who believes.

Home Sweet Home

2008-09-07T18:53:00.004+10:00

I'm Devo. Horrible end to a perfect 2 weeks. I'm so confused and upset and heartbroken. I hate that i always put myself into this situation. Now to settle back eat some homus and bread unpack and mope fuck fuck fuck fuck you

going home :(

2008-09-06T10:20:00.002+10:00

All my flights are booked and mums picking me up from the airport i'm leaving tomorrow and i really don't want to go lame lame lame
so hopefully tonight will be fun
going out with cocopop jesse and the girls to this place where dezzy is dj'ing so should be kewl
fuck going home so not siked i will cry boo

come come buy me a drink have a dance cut siq

Lying here

2008-09-03T21:04:00.002+10:00

in bed with the most amazing person ever i never want to feeling to fade

Sore Throat Syndrome

2008-09-02T13:36:00.003+10:00

Off to the doctors for us.

worst.

p.s

2008-09-01T21:01:00.000+10:00

We're Never Going Home

2008-09-01T20:30:00.001+10:00

still in victoria.
sick as hell.
met so many amazing people
bang was a bit epic i raged a bit hard and now i can't speak but thats fine.
Izzy Ming Cailan Brae and Jesse are all awesome internet irl people.
Melbourne is amazing most amazing people.
I never want to leaveeeeeeeeeee....

B-RAT

2008-08-28T10:00:00.002+10:00

Currently sitting in Alessandros room in front of the heater interneting whilst he is at work. When he gets home we are going to get lotf and have a bit of a shop. right now my life feels perfect. Have hardly done anything but have done everything I love this place and these people oh victoria <3 I don't ever want to go home.

SHOOK ONES

2008-08-22T09:14:00.002+10:00

Got a blogspot!!!! WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEee
They are such a fucking great band one of the only new bands that i actually like compared to the shit that is coming out these days. Shook Ones are a diamond in the rough.
Do yourself a favour and get a copy of sixteen or facetious folly feats and give it a wirl.
I don't buy vinyl ever i own a whole of 4 records in my eyes they are the 4 most perfect records.

DESCENDENTS - Cool to be you
The Dirty Dancing Soundtrack
JohnLennon -Imagine
&&&&&&&
Shook Ones - Facetious Folly Feats...

HERE IS THE BLOGGGGGGGG

I am still reallly really drunk and my fucking money has not come through and my fucking mother will not answer her god damn phone oh life why must you taunt me with all you shit.

DRUNK

2008-08-21T21:34:00.000+10:00

INTERNET

We'll Say Anything We Want

2008-08-20T19:45:00.003+10:00

I hate people that make other people feel like shit for no reason. That hang shit on people just to make themselves look kewl in front of their friends to make the other person feel like shit to make themselves feel better. Not one person has the right to make another human being feel worthless. Not one person has the right to make another person feel like shit. Instead of being a jerk 24/7 why don't you try complimenting them instead of putting them down.
My whole life i have been the person that gets picked on that gets tormented and teased for no reason. All through primary school all through high school and even now after I have been out of school for almost 4 years it still happens. I don't know if there is some sign that hangs over me saying " I HAVE CRITICALLY LOW SELF ESTEEM PLZ TEASE ME" or what. Whenever i speak out against it and say hey you know what i hate tht you do this too me please shut the fuck up it does nothing. So this is just a note to all you "friends" that think its okay to hang shit on me to tease me to ridicule me to make me feel like a worthless piece of shit every living moment of the day. ITS NOT OKAY. I don't appreciate it and I'm not going to stand for it anymore. Its time i make changes in my life its time i start being happy for once and you people do nothing to help my mental state so kindly keep your mouth shut and stop picking on me and if you can't stay the fuck out of my life because I do not need "friends" like you even if i end up close to 2 people for the rest of my life i don't care because you are not someone that is worth my time if you make me feel worthless.
END RANT

What Goes Down Must Come Up

2008-08-19T13:07:00.005+10:00

Yesterday I spent most of the day in bed crying and feeling sorry for myself ... Mainly because i just feel like everything keeps going wrong in my life and it will never get better the only positive thing in my life as i have said so many times is Coco and the only place I want to be right now is with him. But because the universe hates me it has decided that i no longer need a bank account and closed it so I can't get money to go see him. And thus my sadness I want to go to Ballarat and i want to see coco and i want to smile. Although I did get an excellent message from my dear friend Kim From wa. I met Kim on the extortion tour at the beginning of this year and he is one of my favorite people even though all i do around him is cry haha. He is so much fun always happy always makes me smile and our essay messages to each other are always something to look forward to. Anyway after crying all day yesterday I decided to wake up and sort my shit out today so after making a few phone calls i now have a nice new bank account that in a few ways will be about $2000 richer So hopefully my money comes through tomorrow or thursday so that on Friday i can go go go to Ballarat and get into melb at about 10 otherwise i will have to fly :o I have not ever mentioned before that i am deadly afraid of flying. Well flying alone. I will have to face my fears eventually possibly this weekend oh no but on saturday i want to go too the King Brown Reunion house show with FIIQ and a few other bands..
Oh my Being able to and see Alessandro gives me butterflies He is just the best thing that has ever happened to me hardcore was a month ago and since then i have settled down so much i am drinking less I haven't kissed any boys and he is basically all i think about and i can write all this mushy stuff because i know he doesn't read my blog ^__^
Also Decided today to try and watch all the movies that we own last night i watched
-Erin Brockovich
-The Truth About Love
-Down To You
-Memoirs Of An Invisible Man
-Maid In Manhattan
- Kill Bill V2
-Rules OF Engagement

Down To You was my fav. Julia Styles and Freddy Prinze Jnr <3

PS

2008-08-17T22:27:00.001+10:00

I love you post secret

Top 5 -Girl Crush

2008-08-17T17:40:00.007+10:00

1. SCARLETT JOHANSSON

2. DREW BARRYMORE

3. BRODY DALLE

4. CHLOE SEVIGNY

5. NATALIE PORTMAN

Oh and 1 + 5 = hawt

KEEP QUIET

2008-08-17T00:57:00.002+10:00

Nothing comes as easy as you can i lay in your bed all day?

I'll be your best kept secret and your biggest mistake.....

No Life

2008-08-15T19:13:00.002+10:00

I offically have no life.
How do i know this? Because last night i was up until 4.30am writing a huge lj post about Miles Away...MILES AWAY why i do not know. If you click my Lj link on the side you can view that shit.

Finished off all my centerlink stuff and i get my money by next thursday at the latest. :) gonna go to Canberra and then Sydney so that will be good. Spent a whole 3 dollars on clothes today fark i got some cute scarves and a new beanie and a pullover to add to my tacky pull over collection that is rapidly expanding this one has a dandelion on it rullin

Um watched some more movies today Pretty in Pink and The sound of music its only 7.30 but i think i will prob have an early night. I have decided that I want to be Molly Ringwald in the 80's....Fuck she rules. + I so Would have fallen in love with ducky and not that rich jerk not siked...

Happy birthday Patrick <3

Fancy

2008-08-15T01:28:00.002+10:00

"I'm a relatively inoffensive person: I'm not very tall, I'm not very big, I'm not very bright. I don't know how I manage to annoy people so much. Maybe it's because I've been outspoken on certain issues?"

Today I just hung out with mum watched some movies and organised some stuff weekend will consist of cleaning and hardly leaving the house need to go into town tomorrow and pick up and drop off some stuff whatever. I miss my friends. I miss socialising. I miss Alessandro Coco I can not wait to see that boy.He is really the only thing that has been keeping me going lately and fuck it rules. I love the fact i have someone like him in my life. Just sucks being so far apart. Temptations being to close for comfort. Hopefully i don't fuck this one up cause I can see myself falling in love. lal i am lame.

THE BREAKFAST CLUB
KIDS
MYSTERIOUS SKIN
ALL GR8 MOVIES

Fuck Being Capped

2008-08-12T21:00:00.004+10:00

I will upload my mix tape sometime soon its rullin I'm siked on it.
Today my sister decided it would be a good idea to skip school and got caught and got taken back to school by the police, SUCKA... Changed My hair again moar red and got some new glasses..SIGH....Dumb sluts making my life hell should rot....
There is a thread on BGOV2.0 atm Asking for album recommendations.
So here are mine...

Polar Bear Club - Sometimes Things Just Dissapear
Brand New - Deja Entendu
Hot Water Music - No Division
The Loved Ones - Build & Burn
Shook Ones - Facetious Folly Feats
Crime In Stereo - Is Dead...
Thursday - War All The Time
Forever The Sickest Kids - Underdog Alma Mater
Descendents - Everything Sucks
Against Me! - Acoustic Ep
Kidcrash - Jokes
Miles Away - S/T
Circa Survive - Juturna
Dashboard Confessional - The Swiss Army Romance
Circle Takes The Square - As The Roots Undo
Taking Back Sunday - Where You Want To Be

They are all albums I could listen to all day on repeat and not get sick of. That Mean something special to me there are probs like a million more but these ones are all amazing

The MixTape

2008-08-11T15:45:00.004+10:00

It's Monday I have only got up off the couch about 3 times all day. My life is actually going nowhere. I need to find some motivation. But today I'm in a mix tape mood or a mix cd/playlist that kinda junk so I'm going to make one upload it for you lurkers that read this piece of shit blog and then you can enjoy the lovely mix i will also be enjoying... Sooooo Off to do that now. Will continue watching the Olympics which i have been doing since the opening ceremony its actually good i like the Olympics :| Weird. Um I just wish centerlink would hurry up and call me. I need to get a haircut and also get my eyebrows done and get a cardi and then go on a holiday and get to see Alessandro <3 Anyway off to make a good mix before i lose my motivation. I'm hungry.. Oh Yeah Btw I thought it would be a kewl idea to shave my head ahhah Fail

These dialogue stars dream of Sundays

2008-08-10T16:10:00.002+10:00

Post secret day once again this week there was 4 new post secrets i really enjoyied.
sigh sigh sigh

I have felt pretty shitty this week.
Coming to the realisation that I have accomplished nothing yet this year.
I'm not going to be able to afford to move out till at least the end of the year.
I really hope centerlink call me tomorrow fack i neeed need need to get away.
I'm so sick of fighting parents and feeling so out of place in this town. I hate that almost all my post now have no real substance and are me complaining sigh. I am really drifting back into that shit feeling that was haunting me. I can't sleep anymore. I cant remember the last time i smiled and most of what i eat i throw back up no idea why this is happening i just eat and then feel heavy and sick. Oh i forgot it was my 1 yr vegan anniversary the other day :) YAY and and and I dyed my hair and got some new frames yesterday

I am

2008-08-10T09:30:00.002+10:00

stilllll drunk

RED RED WINEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeee

69

2008-08-08T22:53:00.002+10:00

Post number 69 there is no other way to explain it than that

Brand New

2008-08-08T01:42:00.002+10:00

I'm having a brand new night trying to relax trying to take my mind off things and just appreciating the true beauty of brand new. I also bought some not quite brand new clothes I love opshoping and I love cheap clothes $ 4 for that stuff bargain!
Plz Excuse my boobz

Ever since I was young your word is the word that always won. Worry and wake the ones you love. A phone call I'd rather not receive. Please use my body while I sleep. My lungs are fresh and yours to keep, Kept clean and they will let you breathe. Is this the way a toy feels when its batteries run dry? I am the watch you always wear but you forget to wind. Nobody plans to be half a world away at times like these, so I sat alone and waited out the night. The best part of what has happened was the part I must have missed. So I'm asking you to shine it on and stick around. I'm not writing my goodbyes. I submit no excuse. If this is what I have to do I owe you every day I wake. If I could I would shrink myself and sink through your skin to your blood cells and remove whatever makes you hurt but I am too weak to be your cure. Is this the way a toy feels when its batteries run dry? I am the watch you always wear but you forget to wind. Nobody plans to be half a world away at times like these, so I sat alone
and waited out the night. The best part of what has happened was the part I must have missed. So I'm asking you to shine it on and stick around. I'm not writing my goodbyes. I'm not letting you check out. You will beat this starting now and you will always be around. I'm there to monitor your breathing I will watch you while you're sleeping. I will keep you safe and sound. Does anybody remember back when you were very young. Did you ever think that you would be this blessed?

Reality.

2008-08-07T19:17:00.002+10:00

I wish that my life could be normal for just 1 minute.
Family is in so much debt atm
National Aust. Bank is taking legal action against dad.
Can't afford to pay the rent.
Can't afford to eat.
Fuck this.
I just can't wait to get away from the constant fighting and constant stress.
My mind can't handle it.
Please can someone come rescue me and take me to an alternate reality....

IT WORKS

2008-08-06T15:09:00.002+10:00

yeah enter

wooo hooo

Oh so its wendsday again. Will sit here on this couch all day and hardly move.
8:30 = The L Word
9:30 = Movies that matter

yeah they are my only plans for the day.

I shaved my head well part/1 side i have to go to the hairdresser and get that shit fixed up ahhaha

oh wellz.

my life is just a loop of tv food internet and tears

my enter button

2008-08-05T15:22:00.000+10:00

wont work......this is the worst thing ever how do i fix it

Easy like sunday morning.

2008-08-03T19:00:00.002+10:00

Not really though.
Today was a bit lame.
My cousins baby got christened i didn't go to the ceremony but i went to the afterwards bbq lots of people i had never met felt weird...
Did some driving
had to put up with fighting parents
Now im not in the best of moods.
Having to put up with other peoples shit doesn't help anything.
I want a puppy and a baby to play with.
Centerlink tomorrow.... hopefully this stuff gets approved so i can have some money
then move at the end of the month fucking cant wait to get out of this town
Only good thing about Sundays is post secret.

MINDSNAREEEE

2008-08-02T17:26:00.002+10:00

Last night i went to Mindsnare, Dropsaw, Bulldog Spirit and Relentless @ hermans bar in Sydney. It was fucking awesome. I bumped into Matt Justin Dave and Ben when i was getting off the train and hung out with them until the show started which was good it's always nice to catch up with those boys. So many good people at the show. Met Pepper he rules what an awesome guy. All the bands were really awesome and Mindsnare fucking killed it I forget how amazing they are because the live show jsut does not transfer onto record. Mindsnare could be breaking up which is horrible My first hardcore show was a mindsnare show in like 04/05 when i was just a little kid and they have always killed it nothing compares to a mindsnare show!
After the show i went to Kaytes house with Libby drank some more beers and rampages on skype/internet ahha those girls are great Kayte is so much fun :)
One of the best nights i have had in so long.
Only downside was sighting my missing mindsnare tshirt cut up into a backpatch on jubblas jacket. NOT HAPPY!

SUP BOOBZ SUP POTATO HEAD

Unsubstantiated Rumors Are Good Enough For Me (To Base My Life Upon)

2008-07-31T20:30:00.002+10:00

Held by the gravity of nothing,
An ironic and literal making of a bed.
You can walk away,
But there is a reason to stay.
They make bad jokes, it's okay not to laugh.
For every push foward, you get the same fucking push back.
You have nowhere to go, so you found someplace,
you have nothing to say you start lying
What the fuck were you thinking
I'm not sorry
I'd do it all again.
Now with all the lines so burred between hate, love, and revenge
Are just dead feelings.

Today I once again did nothing had to get rid of everything off my i Tunes and re-upload it all on annoying as hell. not siked. I cooked dinner for the family. Took me like 2 hours. I made Mushroom Risotto and Spinach with Sesame Seeds and Lemon. Only 1 person would eat it. I hate putting effort into things that go un appreciated. If i could only listen to one band for the rest of my life it would no doubt be against me. Mindsnare tomorrow should be interesting. Hopefully its only 20 bucks cause thats all i have. Have I mentioned before HAVING NO MONEY RUINS ME

I Know I'm Not Alone

2008-07-30T22:01:00.002+10:00

http://www.iknowimnotalone.com/

I'm watching this right now.
Its really good,
Michael Franti is amazing.

Once again i did nothing today
Not having money ruins my life.

Tuesday

2008-07-29T20:20:00.001+10:00

I got to see liz today, Win!

Slipping

2008-07-28T20:56:00.002+10:00

Back into the state of mind i have been in for the past year or so.

- Little Thoughts says:
I wish i didn't care what other people think of me my life would be so different
- Little Thoughts says:
i let people make me feel like shit
- Little Thoughts says:
and I let people make me feel like the most amazing thing and like i will never feel this happy again
- Little Thoughts says:
and then i let myself slip back into this state
- Little Thoughts says:
and i don't know how to get out of it without running away from my problems
- Little Thoughts says:
and my only real problem is myself

I just want to escape. I want to get away from myself. From my life. From my Family. From my friends that make me feel worthless who i guess are not really my friends. From every person in my life except about 5. From the part of me that lets myself feel worthless. From these thoughts. I want to be happy. I want to Smile. I want to feel the kinda happiness that i felt that night.

I don't want to be this depressed person that lacks motivation and depends on other people to make them happy.

I want to be my own person and not everyone else's perception of me. My only problem is I don't know who i am anymore because i have been too busy being who everyone else wants me to be and being so lost in my own demons.

I AM MY OWN BIGGEST ENEMY.

Post Secret Sunday

2008-07-28T02:04:00.004+10:00

Vacant

2008-07-28T01:45:00.001+10:00

Don't know if I can withstand
Another night of this hell living in my head
You say there's something you can do that will help
How can you help me when I can't even help myself?

Sometimes it gets so bad that I can't even stand up straight
I've got to drop what I'm doing and walk all the way back home
These spinning faces that I cross when I'm tripping up and down the street
Make me realize I never should've left my room at all

And it gets so that I wish I had some place that I could go