Reinventing Brooke Walker.

Just gimme a scene where the music is free
And the beer is not the life of the party
There's no need to shit talk or impress
'Cause honesty and emotion are not looked down upon
And every promise that's made and bragged
is meant if not kept
We'd do it all because we have to, not because we know why
Beyond a gender, race, and class,
we could find what really holds us back
Let's make everybody sing
That they are the beginning and ending of everything
That we all are stronger than everything they taught us that we should fear.


I used to love going to shows so much. I used to look forward to it every weekend
Thursday till Sunday a show every day scraping the money up to see my favorite bands play every weekend. I feel like I'm too young to start becoming jaded but i can't help it. I don't get the bone crushing excitement to see my favorite bands anymore I don't have that trouble sleeping the night before that waking up early like a little kid because I'm so excited. Going to shows is starting to become such a chore because of the petty bitchiness that is within our scene the pathetic people that look down on others for no real reason. I find it really hard not to let this shit get to me. Because I really do care to much what over people think of me. I am afraid to enjoy myself anymore to stand up the front to have a good time. Why because I'm getting judged every single second shit is being talked behind my back and its just ridiculous. I Hated high school for the exact same reasons. I hated the fact i got teased constantly and put down so much and then i found out about this glorious thing called hardcore and I started going to shows and feeling accepted for the first time in my life. I have only been going to shows for about 4 or 5 years since i was 13/14 but those days were amazing. People actually accepting me and not hanging shit on me every 10 mins. The fact i could be myself and not have a million opinions about how i live my life thrown back at me. Sometimes i wish i was still an anonymous 15 year old that stood at the back at shows and only went to enjoy the bands. Now i hardly enjoy any of the bands i see unless it is an international band i really enjoy ( Cis , AM! , BL) or if it band like Miles Away or jungle fever. I know i have made a bad reputation for myself because i'm a "slut" or whatever you wish to believe but really in my opinion I have not done anything wrong. I like going out drinking and kissing boys. Same way any other 18 year old does. I am hardly conservative. And to be perfectly honest i love the attention Why? because i went all thorough high school not kissing a single boy until year 10, I was the fat ugly girl that was friends with the boys but more one of the boys. I never got a second glance in high school.Sigh I don't really know what the point of this rant was I got side tracked. But really I just hate the immaturity of some people. The need to call a girl a "slut" or to talk shit behind her back because she is comfortably sexually is so pathetic. It does not affect me who you sleep with so it should not affect you who i sleep with really. Please grow up get over talking about me. Let me go back to enjoying myself at shows instead of feeling intimidated and a scared at every show. Instead of feeling awkward and uncomfortable, Let me go back to feeling happy and accepted. Let me get out of high school and go back to the hardcore I first loved. I wish that my life was more like an against me song.